In these moments
by Koinu Katsuya Shan Seto
Summary: It's the night of the last battle and the last D.A. meeting when Malfoy says, Potter you dolt if you dont come back I'll kill you myself. HD of course. And yaaaay! VOLDIE DIES IN A BLOODY MANNER! but not that bad. Also slight lemmon.


It's the mutt and I'm back with my first ever finished fic of HP!!!! YAY! LETS GIVE THREE CHEERS, BAKURA!  
HIP HIP  
**Kura:** Boooo  
HIP HIP  
**Kura:** Boooooo  
HIP HIP  
**Kura:** Bo-  
DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT BOOING ME OR NO MORE SWEET-SNOW (ice cream)  
**Kura:** gasp You WENCH!  
You can't say that I don't try Kura  
**Kura:** ..._Learning, the student is, yes.  
_0.0 blink 0.0...- love ya Kura  
**Kura:** Yeah yeah... DISCLAIMEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR: Sadly I do not own the plot of the Harry Potter series (J.K. doesn't either. The companies do. She just writes 'em.) or characters. closes eyes and pretends to look like a wise old dude meditating _But if I have leather pants...Draco...will come...  
_AND MAYBE HE'LL BRING HARRY! -  
And by the way, this is **YAOI **as always and is rated **R** just in case because I try to do a little **lemon** in this (and if it makes you feel better, then I'l put #####), and also for a wee bit of **Voldie Violence**. Its against him of course. Poor poor Harry dear...  
  
**In these moments**  
  
I had never known what it was liked to be loved. And no one had known that in return. They didn't want to think that their hero had once been a scraggly little boy who was undernourished and chased around by his own cousin and a dog. They could never even have guessed.  
  
They had never known what my life really was. That I actually was just some little boy who had been thrown into their world unexpectedly. They could never had thought that it would all turn out this  
  
way. Hell, not even Dumbledor could have known that it would turn out this way. None of us could have known. We were all so sure that again in this war, Hogwarts would not be attacked. Why didn't we think. I guess we all still wonder. There were so many lost that night. I don't think that I had actually believed that Ron and Hermoine were gone until I had stood by there graves. Hagrid was never found. Even the person everyone thought would come out fine and lead us to victory was dead. Dumbledore was dead, along with so many others.  
  
But there is one thing about that night that I have no regrets over, and that was you. It had been outside the room of requirement. The last meeting of the D.A. had just ended . I had been so surprised when you had shown up in the beginning of the year, telling everyone you were going against all that you had been brought up to believe. And I didn't believe you, and I made sure you knew it. That was the night you told me you loved me. Well not exactly those words. It was more like "Potter you dolt, if you don't come back I'll kill you myself. And I had something I wanted to show you too." And in my time of delusion I actually asked you what it was. You proceeded to show me. Our first kiss is one of the most funniest times of my life now that I look back on it. It was sloppy, wet, rushed, and warm. But all I remember thinking is just how much I wanted you.  
  
I guess at the time we were both just thinking that there was enough time to waste before the attack. We thought that in that moment, we had all the time in the world. All I knew in that moment was that I had always loved you and that it had taken you to say it for me to realize. Selfish, maybe. Stupid, maybe. But that was what I knew.  
  
Being that I never grew out of being small and skinny, you lifted me off the ground and I wrapped my legs around your waist. You didn't disagree. You all but slammed me against the wall next to the door that had suddenly repapered (which was weird because of the fact that we hadn't walked passed it three times. We must have really needed each other). I didn't snap out of my daze until I felt your hands go inside of my shirt so that you could slide then up and down my spine and I wondered were my cloak had gotten to. I detached my mouth from yours to found out were it was and saw on the floor by your feet. For some strange reason I started to giggle. You finally stopped your task of giving my shoulders and neck those wonderful love-bites you give and looked down at me with the most adorably confused face. I simply pointed down at the cloak. You looked at it, then back at me and I noticed that your lip was quivering, so I wondered what was wrong. My answer wasn't long in coming because you suddenly started laughing. And it was heavenly to me.  
  
When you stopped, you gave me one glace and then decided to do one of your best ever Dementor impressions. I fully realized what we were about to do as I started to slide down the wall because you were trying to take off your cloak and kiss me at the same time. I tapped you on the shoulder and when you looked at me I jerked my head towards the door. You got the picture and almost pulled my arm off after you had let me down and then practically dragged me through the doorway. It must have some how shut itself because I don't remember either of us closing it.  
  
I barley had time to take in a giant four-poster and a fire crackling in a fireplace before you hauled me onto said bed. Obviously it was you who had thought of the room because I couldn't have cared less if it had been a broom-closet. You always said you liked it classy (but when we get like this your more like an animal). And after that you went slow. Almost to slow. I don't remember when or how the clothes came off, just that they did, and that your hands touching me anywhere and everywhere you could reach. I think you liked the fact that were dominate in one thing so far when it came to us if not Quiddicth. I just lay there as you kissed, nipped, bite, and licked, trying to see what reactions you would get. And I did react. In everyway possible from cursing your name to mewling at your ministrations. You wanted to beg. And I did.  
  
I received no preparation when you entered me. But when I started to cry you held me as you said calming words and sent soothing touches along my body to get it to stop shivering. Finally I either got bored or just frustrated and made you move so that you would be sitting up with me on your lap as you were still inside. You gave me that confused look again so I laughed and wiggled my hips to give you the message, which you definitely replied to. All the while we whispered revelations that weren't true and promises we knew couldn't be kept. But we didn't care. And soon I felt something warm and writhing in the pit of my stomach that I couldn't stop. That I didn't want to stop. I just wrapped my legs even tighter around you as you held on tightly to my waist. There were bruises there later. Your like a dragon. Just as beautiful, but also just as fierce.  
  
When it ended I screamed, and you told me later that it made you shiver. You actually surprised me when you put your forehead on my shoulder and whispered my name in my ear. When we had both stopped shuddering, you laid down and had me rest my head on your chest. It was a half an hour later, we were laying on our sides, I was curled up against your chest, and you had your arms around me with your cheek against the top of my head as the door flew open. I saw who was there and wanted to throw up. Hermoine at was surprised at first but I swear I saw her give that sad smile that said 'if-this-is-what-makes-you-happy-Harry', then she gave a slight nod as if signifying it. She knew that we had scars, deep hurts in our lives that only a rival could know. She had always said that rivals are the ones who know you best (besides herself and Ron was too thick to realize anything). They see you at your best and worst times, that's why they know how to push you.  
  
Ron on the other hand, was not so understanding as to be expected. I mean I realize what this was to him. His best friend, was now naked in a bed, with his mortal enemy Malfoy. He looked at you and if looks could kill, I would have suddenly been in a bed beside a pile of ashes. And when he looked at me...I saw hate, confusion, betrayal (and Hermoine had said that he had the emotional capacity of a spoon!). Then he left. Just like that. And now I wish he hadn't. Maybe if he had let me explain, it wouldn't have turned out the way it did. Who knows? It could have been even worse.  
  
I just sat there trying to understand what had just happened until you shook my shoulder and pointed to Hermoine who was still in the doorway. She said that this was great for me and all but the reason that they had come to find me in the first place, was to tell me that the attack had started on the school had instead of next week had been moved up to today at exactly right now. And also that we should have been there ten minutes ago. They had used the map to find me but when they had seen Malfoy and I together they thought the worst (obviously for Ron the thought that this could happen didn't even occur to him) and didn't stop to think about knocking.  
I looked at you and saw you were about to get up but I just made you sit down again. While you waited for me to explain a look of concern opened up on your face.  
  
"I know your not a Death Eater." I said to you. I remember that you tried to say something but I held my hand up to your lips. "Don't ask me how or why I know, just go with that I know (actually it was because he had no Dark Mark and also because...I just knew okay!). I know you want to go down there and fight, but if you really want to prove to me that your not a Death Eater then stay here. Please?"  
  
You just kept looking at me until you asked, "Why?" I remember that you looked so young then. Then I realized that I probably looked younger than you. I had to beg again.  
  
"Please do this for me. I need to know that your safe up here and that I don't need to worry about you. Not just for your safety but...Look. I need something to keep me going while I'm out there. Something to come back for. Something that's just for me and because its mine and not for anyone else. And if I know you're here, I wont give up because I'll know that I have something to live for.  
  
I'll come back. So please...just...promise me you'll stay here. Please?"  
  
I took your face in my hands and stroked your cheeks with my thumbs. I must have looked so desperate for the ansawr you didn't want to give. You just looked at me, then finally nodded. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding (my face had probubly turned blue, that's probably why you agreed) and I leaned in to kiss you. It's one of the best moments of my life that kiss. Now that I think back on it again, it was kind of the calm before the storm. But then I just got up and dressed in about ten seconds.  
  
While I walked away I didn't look back, because I knew if I did, I wouldn't have gotten up the strength to leave you. As I was about to go through the door, I thought that maybe if I didn't have only a piece of wood (which I felt right now could only produce sparks) that could brake easily, I would have felt more confident about keeping my promise. And of course being in a room that gave you what you wanted, the sword of Gryffindor appeared as I was about to shut the door. I quickly strapped it on and I think you and I both thought that it was ironic that the sheath was silver embezzled with emeralds couse I think I heard you laugh as I closed the door.  
  
Hermoine was quiet as I said my goodbye and remained quiet until we reached the Great Hall. When I looked inside of it I gasped.  
  
"Quite a charm wouldn't you say..." she said a little smugly. "I found it in the library while looking up spells that could help us and as soon as I found this one I gave it to Dumbledore. I couldn't find a name though. The book was one of the eldest I've ever seen."  
  
To one side of the hall were students from first to fifth year and some scattered sixth and seventh. I supposed the older students were ones who couldn't or wouldn't fight. Lucky them. To the other side were hospital beds, some already filled. When I looked up I saw that it was raining kind of hard. But all these things together wasn't what surprised me. It was the faint gold aura that seemed to float around the room.  
  
"The charm was created using every single students magic. Yes even yours Harry. And its guaranteed that with such an amount and difference in the magical aura, the people in this room cannot be harmed. I mean, this is a school after all isn't it. The younger students will at least be safe until someone from the Order comes to get them. They at least shouldn't have to die."  
  
I was finally knocked into my senses by that last sentence. The people wouldn't stop suffering, wouldn't stop dying until I ended it out there. But like the moron that I am, I was in there talking about the charm that was supposed to save them instead of actually ending it myself!  
  
"No one should have to die. Not anymore" I said quietly as I walked towards the already slightly open front doors with Hermoine behind me. And as I walked I remembered all the people who had been taken right in front of me. Cedric, my parents, Sirius...But I just kept walking, perhaps to my doom. And The sight I saw there, as I walked through those doors, still haunts my nightmares.  
  
Ron stood of to one side of the doors, his wand was out, and he looked ready to take on anyone. Anyone that is, except the person who walked up the steps towards him in that moment. The hideous red eyes flashed in silent victory as the scratchy and poisonous voice of the person I loathed the most in the world said, "You are Ronald Weasley, Harry Potter's best friend, are you not."  
  
Ron didn't speak, couldn't move as the creature stalked forward.  
  
"Or at least, you were until the little dragon came into his life yesterday evening. Oh yes I know. I planed it that way with him. If he couldn't somehow get Harry to either trust him or drive him mad, he was to somehow kill him. And right now, I'm sure he succeeded in doing all three."  
  
The _very_ **old** and _very_ **ugly** man stopped when he was about five feet away. For all the hero I was made out to be, I couldn't move or say a word to stop what I knew was coming. Behind me, Hermoine shook silently.  
  
"Let me put you out of your misery young Mr. Weasley. _Avada Kadavera!_"  
  
Hermoine screamed and ran out into the darkness of the night but stopped when Ron looked at her. In that split second before he hit the ground, he looked at her with such emotion, that I would have given up my happiness with you if he could just once have told her how much I knew, and then in that moment she knew, how much he loved her. She would have gone to his body, if not for the green blast of light, identical to the one that had stuck Ron, hit her in the side. She also crumpled to the ground soundlessly.  
  
I turned to see who her murder had been and saw Lucius looking at me with the most hatred I had ever seen. For he didn't believe his Lord. He knew that I had taken you way from him, his only child.  
  
As soon as I saw him draw breath for another killing curse, I leaped to the side and let out a slightly relieved and shocked breath as I actually felt the curse pass by me. I cant even try describe what it felt like. I didn't even stand up before I cast a quiet stupefy at him. Thank Merlin for wandless magic. He flew back against a stonewall and as he made a loud cracking sound two things happened; I knew Lucius was dead, either by braking his neck or smashing in his skull, and Voldemort finally saw me.  
  
"Well, well, well," he had said, finally acknowledging my presence. "Harry. You've finally decided to join the party." He sneered at me. He thought he would be alright because I hadn't drawn my wand. I never would. Voldemort didn't know what hit him until I did, and we fell back onto the wet ground, and as we went down, I heard the satisfying crack of his wand snapping. It felt good. It felt even better when I gave him one good punch in the face. Who would ever know that what the prophecy meant by "having power the dark lord has not" meant physical power, and man did old Volide have nothing once his wand was gone.  
  
But it didn't mean anything to me. I wanted him to suffer, to scream, to cry in anguish for all that he had done. I wanted him to pay for eternity for every single life that he had royally screwed. But mostly, I wanted him to pay for mine, and for yours, because like I said, there would now be scars and deep hurts that would never fade.  
  
It wasn't until the monster tried to kick me on the shin but ended up kicking the sheath, did I remember that I still had the long-forgotten-but-now-remembered sword with me. Not a good thing for him though. I quickly pulled the sword from the sheath and raised it above my head. And he had looked at me in horror and realization of what I was about to do when I snarled, "Hope you have a nice time in Hell!"  
  
I then plunged the sword in his heart. But it still wasn't enough for me. So I pulled out the sword, only to stab the corpse again, and again, and again. I started to cry but I didn't stop, even when my eyes become hazy. I couldn't stop. I was soon splattered with blood, especially my hands, so that they slipped along the handle, making me stab once into his face through his cheek.  
  
I didn't even notice someone had walked up until Reamus kneeled down behind me. He placed a hand on my shoulder and said, "Harry. Harry you've got to stop now. Its over. He's gone and he's not coming back. And by doing this...it won't...it can't bring them back Harry. Try to stop and calm down."  
  
I raised the sword again but this time I didn't run it trough the now dismembered body. It fell the ground with a clang as it hit the stone. I slowly turned to look at Reamus. He didn't move at all, he just sat there waiting as I started to shake slightly. He reminded me so much of my godfather. Oh gods...  
  
"Sirius!"  
  
I dove into Reamus's open arms and buried my head into his shoulder as I sobbed harder, called out for him louder, and shook violently. It makes sense that when it was finally over I would cry for him the most, even over my parents. I mean sure they were my parents but I didn't know them. But I knew Sirius and I knew for a fact that he loved me if at first only because I was his best friends son. But that was the difference. I knew him. And I wanted him there with me, and with Remus. Because even though I didn't understand before, I knew now something was there between them, something that now you and I had. And I grieved the loss for someone else who had been royally screwed over.  
  
I stayed there only for minutes, but every second seemed like another year of misery had just past by. I heard someone else call my name as the sun started to come over the horizon of the mountains. When I looked up, I saw what looked like an archangel, silhouetted in the faint sunlight. My angel was tall and lithe, and looked like it had white hair. I couldn't tell if it was male or female, and it was still dark enough for me to be able to see their face. Or maybe that was just my eyes, I had lost my glasses somewhere.  
  
While I still had the energy I had to ask since I still wasn't in my right mind.  
  
"Am I dying?"  
  
I could tell the angel was surprised and upset by what I had asked.  
  
"Of course your not. You can't!"  
  
Now I could tell it was a he, and he sounded hysterical, like he was about to cry.  
  
"You promised that you would come back. You said that if I waited you'd come back. Harry? Harry!"  
  
The sun rose higher and I finally realized who it was. I laughed slightly.  
  
"Dragon..." I smiled like a fool, well, at least that's what you told me. "I have my own archangel, Dragon."  
  
I don't remember the rest of that day. You said it was because I passed out.  
I look at you now as you lay beside me sleeping. Your hair is messed up, the skin on your gloriously naked body is still pink, and your breathing is heavier than usual.Thank whatever almighty being for sex. You stir suddenly under my gaze and let out a yawn, then you turn over to look at me. With the curtains open and the moon shinning through the window, you look like an angel again, and I tell you so. You just roll your eyes but smirk at me all the same. That smirk hasn't changed at all since I saw it in a robe shop exactly 13 years ago. But the way your eyes look when you do it is different, they sort of glow, just for me. Then you look seriously as you ask, "Harry, did you...have another nightmare?" I love your concern.  
  
"Yeah but its fine now Drake. Go back to sleep."  
  
You pretend to be annoyed.  
  
"Well I would get to sleep a whole lot faster if my bed-warmer would lay down again. It is what I keep you here for you know Potter."  
  
"Alright alright, don't be getting your knickers in a twist."  
  
"Feh...Potter...you only call me that when you want something."  
  
"Of course I want something; my bed-warmer. Now get down here. And besides, you already saw to it that my knickers wouldn't twist when you threw them across the room about...hmm three hours ago."  
  
I shoot you a look of fake horror.  
  
"Three hours! We've been deprived for that long?! Now I'm defiantly coming down there."  
  
"Come on Harry we already did it three times!"  
  
"Oh stop whining. And look at it this way, one shag for every year that we've known each other. And besides its my birthday."  
  
"As much as I admire that way of thinking love 1) you birthday was yesterday and 2)those three romps were after 12. Technically speaking, that wasn't your birthday."  
  
"But I don't want to go by technically! I want to go by my now over active hormones you sexy- ass"  
  
"As much as I know you love my ass, you can't do anything with it right now and besides, its mine turn anyway."  
  
"You keep track of this?"  
  
"So you don't cheat. And put that tongue back in your mouth."  
  
"...Fine. Be that way"  
  
"See. I always win. Now lets go to sleep"  
  
We lay down the same way we did on that night, and almost every night after that. I'm curled up against your chest, while you have your arms rapped around me with your cheek laying on the top of my head.  
  
"....Please Draco?"  
  
You don't even bother talking, just slap me upside the head, and hold me even closer. But I feel you smile against my hair, and in this moment, I know what's its like to be loved.  
I have never written anything like this before and its freakin me out. The only exceptions are when I typed it up the first time (I think I like that version better), then it got erased as I was about to spell-check, and the second time I only got halfway and then my older sister went on and the she erased it (I hope to gods she didn't read it. Any of it.). Now it's the third time, I've made sure to save it, and hopefully I'll never have to try and type this up again because this is the only copy I have. Now I will shamelessly ask for reviews:  
  
PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE SEND IN REVIEWS FOR MY FIRST H/D FIC (and I just now noticed that the first fics I put up in different categories are always kinda....extreme or have some kind of violence. And bruises. I have something with bruises... Maybe its because I've had one on my right hand for awhile...shrug).  
And now that I'm reading it again, this fic doesn't exactly...flow I guess. I made Harry and Voldie kinda perverted. Guess their even more alike now.  
And I made Harry say "feh" heehee. GO INUYASHA!  
  
**Inuyasha: Did someone just call my name?**  
_Kagome: No Inuyasha. You're just being paranoid_.  
**Inu: no! someone called my name. I bet it was that pathetic wolf trying to distract me so that he could kidnap you again. didn't you hear it? "Go Inuyasha." probably meant "go away"Inuyasha.  
**Kouga: Shut up mutt-face  
**Inu: Oh yeah, well bring it on flea-bag. I got a wind-scar attack with your name on it.  
**&%$scuffle)%(%  
Kagome&Sango: Men  
_Miroku: ah yes. Dog demons aren't exactly the wisest of their kind meanwhile puts his hands on the two girls bottoms #grope#  
_**Inu: somehow senses Kagome in distress and leaves Kouga chewing his own tail (hey I like Kouga don't get me wrong) Hey Monk! Leave Kagome alone!  
**_Miroku:...What about Sango?_  
**Inu:looks at Sango...Have fun!  
**Sango: EEP  
Kouga: growl chew chew  
**Inu: Kagome...there's something I wanna ask you....  
**_Kagome:looks hopeful yes Inuyasha?  
_**Inu: Can I....I mean do you? Do you have any more ramen? puppy eyes**  
_Kagome: falls over_ Sorry if you don't understand the last part its from Inuyasha because I just watched it. Its when Kouga asks Kagome to "be my women". 


End file.
